Christian Counseling: A New Look At Taking The Lord's Name in Vain

Is there anyone in America who is not somewhat familiar with the ten commandments? I suppose such a person would be hard to find. Exodus 20 reveals those commands, the third of which says, "'You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain, for the Lord will not leave him unpunished who takes His name in vain.'"


The common application is that we don't curse saying G.. D... or use use His name--God or Jesus or Jesus Christ--to express angry or negative emotions or even to express surprise ("O my God!"). To some the latter may seem innocent, but if you understand what is behind why God included this commandment in the Ten, it won't seem innocent anymore. Further, there is another application of misuse or vanity in using the name of Jesus worth great consideration. But before I speak about that take a quick look at the Hebrew understanding of the command.

In the Hebrew, the word "take" means to lift up, magnify or extol, which is a sign of respect for something or someone important and special. The word "name" refers to one's fame, honor and character. And "vain" means to use something in a destructive, useless or deceptive way. Said differently, we are not to uselessly, destructively or deceptively magnify any name or the fame or character of the supreme God of the universe.

There are quite a few occasions when I hear Christians using His name in vain in a way they think and often the hearers think is honoring Him. For example, is it not an issue of misuse, vanity, uselessness or deception when people say things like: "Jesus is the answer to every question and every problem...Only Jesus can heal...Jesus is all we need" or saying, "God bless you" to one in need and where no action is taken on behalf of that individual? Let's get realistic. The individual and his or her thought processes, beliefs and faith are interactive with the work of God. It is most often Jesus and our faith, for example. That's why Jesus couldn't do many miracles in His own hometown. Also, people find some healing in secular counseling and medicine and Jesus isn't going to solve my garbage disposal problem. Almost never does God go against the laws of nature and never against true knowledge, but encourages our getting understanding and wisdom. He expects us to participate in life and our future by cultivating these because they help us know what we are responsible for and how to handle situations that can add years to our lives, as Proverbs tells us. Again, it is most often Jesus and us. That is honest and not a deceptive and romantic portrayal of God who does everything and is the answer for everything. In my opinion, this does not diminish the power or glory of God, but adds to our understanding of our place and the part He expects us to take in the world.

I'll use my name to demonstrate the effect of misusing some one's name in a positive way and a negative way. You can replace it with your own name or the name of a loved one to see how it might feel. If every time a person was angry, hurt, afraid, etc., they said derogatorily, "Oh, Frank Mancuso." If you didn't know me, what would you associate with my name? Something negative at least and you would likely develop an insensitivity to my name. In other words, it wouldn't mean much to you over time. It would lose it's intended good feel and it's usefulness.This is what happens when we misuse His name in whatever form it takes. We make His name common, thereby reducing it's effect and power in the hearers. It's a matter of impugning one's reputation by association. In time, associating a "good name" with a negative emotion separates the "good" from the "name".

On the other hand, if people go about telling others I, as a counselor, am the answer to every one's problemed personality or marriage, that I perform miracles in counseling and there is absolutely no one better, what will those false and deceptive statements do to my clients in the end? I love Coke, but there is only one "real thing"--the truth. Either way, if my name is used in the spirit of a fairy tale or derogatorily, it would hurt me and the hearers of such.

There are further consequences of misusing God's name through overstating the work or fame of God. Non-Christians, as well as Christians, experience disappointment, disillusionment, broken trust and sometimes a crisis of faith when God doesn't live up to the romantic claims of who people say He is or what He does. It tarnishes His name, makes Him appear unreliable and unloving and, overall, gives Him a bad rap.

Consider this quote from Benjamin Disraeli who was an 1800's British Prime Minister, "Favor or disappointment has been often conceded, as the name of the claimant has affected us; and the accidental affinity or coincidence of a name, connected with ridicule or hatred, with pleasure or disgust, has operated like magic."

We all would do well to be cautious about when and how we use the sacred names of God. Anyone who cares about himself or herself will do whatever is necessary to protect their good name, so is God by His command.

What do you think?

Christian Counseling: A Spiritual Time Out for Adults

When you hear the words "time out" you may think about a child who needs to calm down and/or be disciplined. It is good to take a child out of the usual activities and sit him or her down in a chair to learn about quiet and be alone with his or her thoughts. Though adults on occasion need a time out when their emotions run high, this writing is not about that. It is about adults' need to cease from life as usual, which could easily include Sundays when the activities of daily life go on (chores and church). I can imagine some readers saying, "Uhuh, I don't have enough time to do all I am supposed to, let alone take some me time." This blog is especially for you.

It is so very easy to get caught up in the demands of necessary activities that we lose ourselves and abandon our priorities to task-oriented living. Perhaps we should reframe that and say task-oriented "bondage" because that is not living. Toil has a slow and sneaky way of tempting us and grabbing hold of us, while our adrenaline pushes us to do more and more until we are surprised by the quick passage of years and the reality of being trapped, like Marley and Scrooge in the Dickens' classic, A Christmas Carol.

In the story, Marley had already died. But in a vision Scrooge saw Marley carrying the chains that he bore in life--caring for the have to's of business and not attending to the real business of caring for people. However, Scrooge was given a time out. He had the opportunity of changing his ways by visiting Christmas past, present and future. He saw the way his life started out and how he intended it to be. He was also given understanding about the realities of life in the here and now (the suffering of Tiny Tim and family). But it wasn't until he saw his own gravestone that his heart gave way to dying to his old ways, while begging for a chance to change his future. This he did by taking one step at a time in a different direction in the present--the only thing he truly possessed. His time out gave him an opportunity to reconsider whether or not he wanted to continue life as usual.

Like some of the O.T. prophets who were called into the wilderness, Jesus who withdrew to the mountains and Paul who returned to tent making, they had their time outs. What would God say to you if you took just one time out? Would you feel sad about some past dreams that never materialized? Would you be filled with insight about the realities of your present life? Would you want to change your future? Are you living the way you want? Are you living the way He wants? This is what He wants for you--"'Come to me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light'" (Matthew 11:28-30).

Christian Counseling: Fears That Overtake Us

If there is any single word that so corrupts a person other than "sin," it is fear. Fear, as any other feeling, is not a sin, but the decisions we make about handling our fear can be. Too often people fear what others think and what they will do, so they choose not to stand up for what they believe, become silent in their witnesses for Him, and permit others to be harmed, like a child at the hand of an inappropriate parent. Consequently, many will feel some guilt and even direct some anger at themselves for not following their conscience in doing the right thing. But key to these and many other situations is the awesome power and control fear has over people.

I have seen many male and female clients who faint under another's assumed possession of kryptonite, be it their spouse, boss, parent or other authority figure. They want to act in strength and may even fantasize about having superhuman strength when confronting others in their minds, but are weak in the presence of another's felt massive power. The majority of people, especially women, don't want to hurt another person at any cost, so they keep the peace by silently withdrawing and allow the worms of hurt and anger to eat at them, while the tentacles of fear wrap themselves around their tongues, take freedom from their spirits, confidence from their esteem, and joy from their lives. They all know there is something quite wrong about it all, but fear has its way by confusing the mind and numbing the heart, until it becomes a way of life and imprisons.

Overcoming fear is no easy task, but truth, love and relationships, righteousness, and dying to this world are helps of great measure. Truth clarifies, such as lording one's power over another is contrary to Jesus' words. Instead, we are to be servants and mutually submissive to all (Mark 10:42,43; Ephesians 5:21). The love of God and others helps extinguish fear and supports us in cultivating new attitudes and behaviors (I John 4:18). We find power in a righteous purpose that gives us the courage to take some heat, like Jesus suffering for us. And when we are accustomed to dying daily to this life, fear loses its control because if we are not afraid of dying we've mastered the biggest fear of all (I Corinthians 15:31).

In the end, one must be "exposed" to the fear that mercilessly grips them. Bit by bit and experience by experience, through exposure kryptonite loses its power, insights about what underlies fear leads the way to new possibilities and freedom reigns. That is His wish for us all and to that end He is working, every day. Do you know in what ways He is at work in helping you overcome fear? Lastly, team up with two other people who can offer you encouragement and lend their strength until fear submits to you.

Christian Counseling: Heroes and Leadership

Optimus Prime, Xena, Buffy, Spiderman, Princess Leia, Ironman, yes, they are all heroes. Is there any child, along with some adults, who does not at some point idealize a person or Autobot? All of us at one time or another desire, and in some ways need, to look up to someone or something greater than ourselves. It almost seems instinctive. Most children identify with the hero who almost always possesses characteristics, like: courage, strength, fairness and concern or love for others. This seems like a good thing, and certainly is not all bad. But I have a concern that it morphs into the adult version of desiring or needing heroes.

It appears the adult version is desiring more realistic humans who can't transform or cling to a smooth surface, and who eventually physically tire and are unable to win every single battle. They are seen as quasi-superhuman. These adult heroes are given names or titles or their given names are idealized. Contemporary names include: some nicknames, sports figures, doctor, the overused "hero," rabbi, pastor, teacher, leader and even Father. This list is not exhaustive. We could include any name that is accompanied by an attitude or belief that raises the value and importance of a man or woman beyond what is true and wise, beyond the One we call Jesus. Some of these other names are: CEO, chief, Senator and counselor. In biblical times some men's names were lifted up--"I am of Paul..."I am of Apollos" (1 Corinthians 3:4), to which Paul responded by saying they are but servants. Paul planted, Apollos watered, but God grew (:6). Paul says we can follow his (and other men's) example, but we don't extol them to the position of hero, or said differently, people who replace Jesus on some level. And it is right to honor those in positions of responsibility. But there are limitations. In the Old Testament, Israel wanted kings to rule over them, but God didn't want it so. The people pressed the point and God relented, saying the people have rejected Him as King for inferior earthly kings (1 Samuel 8:4-7).

Matthew 23:8-10 tells us not to call others rabbi or teacher or father or leader because "'One is your Leader, that is, Christ.'" There are authors today, with whom I agree, who say there is no biblical mandate, suggestion or even hint there should exist a hierarchy of leadership in the church (by which we identify with a label), for we are all one and equal, though some more talented or differently gifted. Verse 11 goes on to say we are all servants and Ephesians 5:21 unequivocally states mutual submission is the standard by which every Christian lives his or her life in the body of Christ.

First Peter 5:3 says those who lead (however, are not called leaders, but servants, shepherds, overseers, etc.) are not to lord it over others who are in their care. Those who have charge over others are to model their leading by the greatness of serving and by persuasion (Greek - convince. Other similar words are win and urge. Matt. 28:14; 2 Cor. 3:43 and Acts 13:43).

Also, using the word "leadership" is at the very least confusing, if not wrong, because it refers to the state or position of being a leader. Any time we call someone by an elevated name, accompanied by the same attitude of extolling him beyond what is appropriate, we place him between us and God, similar to putting one who hears confession between us and God--Jesus is our only Mediator. God is jealous to keep the honored position of being our One and Only Leader, Teacher, Father and King. It is so easy for young people and children to attribute their desire and need for heroes to men and women. The developmental consequence of that is it seems normal and natural for adults to want their presidents, kings, leaders, etc. In the church, Jesus Christ is The Leader, let it be so.

Christian Counseling: How Important is Illegal Immigration To The Average Citizen?

This writing was prompted by Fox News commentary and an August 29, 2011 article by Edwin Mora of CNSNews who reported Labor Secretary, Hilda Soles, signed an agreement with Mexico, Nicaragua, Guatemala, Costa Rica, Dominican Republic and El Salvador giving all immigrants in the U.S. protection from labor abuses. She fully supports legals' and illegals' rights and benefits under that agreement and commented that illegals need not fear reporting employer abuse because they will not be deported.    

The moment the word "illegal," as in illegal immigration, is used it should rightfully stir all to ask questions, especially Christians because it is not just a legal issue, but a moral issue with consequences that run deep for everyone.

Illegal immigration is a touchy topic, subject to many different "politically correct" views, abuses on all sides and extremely relevant for every American citizen. The idea and reasonable practice of immigration brings me joy (my father and about 20 other family members migrated to the US in the early 1900's), giving them, and eventually me, opportunities that did not exist in Italy. On the other hand, illegal immigration, though I care about the plight of refugees and those struggling to eek out an existence elsewhere, brings indignation when I compare them to those who respect our good laws and patiently wade through the citizen application process. Finally, I distrust people in government who violate their pledge--to uphold the laws of the land, such as those relative to illegal immigration.

If people did not have a sin nature, all countries could have an open border policy, perhaps there would not even be any countries, but only one world, one land for all. However, with the presence of evil, no country can permit an open border, whether in law or practice without dire consequences, especially when that country is wealthy and rich in opportunities like America. Of the many consequences of this current administration's practice of implying American's borders are open, here are two of them that concern us all. The first is the freedom of terrorists to cross our borders. I have no doubt those illegal crossings have happened many times in the last several years and even more since 2009 since Obama took office. I believe a good number acts of terrorism will be committed in our country in the coming years, but when it becomes known they were done by illegals, there is going to be an outrage from our citizens that is directed more at our own government than those conspiring terrorist states for allowing politics and so called political correctness to supersede the protection of Americans.

The second concern about the practice of implying we have open boarders is the erosion of values, morals, role models and trust of the American people, as well as the world, toward authority. This may be subtle or it may be obvious to readers, but when authority figures disregard laws, put their own political agenda ahead of the will of the people they swore to serve and act corruptly with impunity it greatly impacts the citizenry. To put it another way, our society has been showing signs of collapse--people who are becoming more suspicious, uncaring, lacking personal boundaries, corrupt, disunited, immoral, angry and hateful, disloyal, ungrateful and lovers of self. If those descriptors sound familiar, many of them are also contained in 2 Timothy 3:1-4 regarding the end of days. This is how cultures and countries fall from within, from moral decay.

Illegal immigration is an important issue even though it is only one of many sensitive issues in our country. Its importance is also recognized in that it not only affects immigrants, but every American citizen in very specific ways--financially (we pay for the increased work required of the Department of Labor to uphold its regulations and agreements), morally (giving all illegal aliens a pass from the law, tempts us to violate laws expecting a similar pass--entitlement), and psychologically (anxiety over the deterioration of our society, as well as the insecurity of our country's future--affecting the business world, unemployment and investments).

It is my hope that all Americans see the personal relevance in every issue that faces our nation, and then asks themselves, "What am I willing to do to help protect me and my loved ones' future, as well as America's future?" The first step is to be informed.