Christian Counseling: Knowing God

Richard Cecil, an Anglican clergyman in the 1700's and 1800's, aptly said, "The first step to knowledge is to know that we are ignorant." I would add, "and that we remain more ignorant than knowledgeable throughout our lives, despite whatever knowledge we have acquired."  The wisest man on earth, besides Jesus (who was also God), was Solomon who admitted to his own limitations in Ecclesiastes 7:23-24: "I tested all this with wisdom, and I said, 'I will be wise,' but it was far from me. What has been is remote and exceedingly mysterious. Who can discover it?" This is true not only of wisdom, but any body of knowledge including knowing the Person of God.

Paul Tillich, a twentieth century theologian and philosopher, penned the phrase, "God beyond God." This presents to us the idea that whatever image we have conceived or developed about the Person of God, there is more, far more, infinitely more. After all, God is infinite and no one can grasp infinity but God Himself. The far greater number of His thoughts, judgments and behaviors are beyond us. One of understanding will eventually come to admit we humans all live a life largely in ignorance of who God is. What we largely know of Him is contained in the limited, approximately 1600 pages of Biblical revelation, which is coupled with our interpretation, imagination and wish.

The ultimate reality of God or the correct image of Him will not be understood this side of heaven, and I wonder if we will ever fully and completely know Him. I wonder if the angels have discovered and experienced new thoughts, emotions and understandings about God as the result of their observing His creating and interacting with human beings. I image that to be the case. I image that in the timeless world of heaven, God will forever be revealing Himself. I image that the wonderful and exciting path of searching out the Person of God will forever remain part of His amazing glory (Proverbs 25:2).

How do we discover who God is? Of course we study the Bible, in depth. We dialogue with God--we speak, He listens and He speaks, we listen (prayer). He lives in Christians, therefore, through one another's behavior, attitude and words we can often see God. We discover Him in nature and all His creation as Romans chapter one tells us. We discover Him by raising unending, hard, unusual and perhaps scary questions and seeking to answer them as best we can. We use our minds and imaginations to piece together disparate events and decisions of God to formulate an impression of His character and learn as we attempt to forecast some future events or actions of God. You can also ponder the process you went through in getting to know someone special and how they got to know you and then apply it your relationship with God. Finally, let the Holy Spirit lead you into all truth. Ultimately, your God beyond God or image of Him will be unique, different than anyone else. Collectively, our images, if we could blend them, would be closer to the true Person of God, so do not be quick to dismiss other's images, but first get to know and consider them.

If ever you find yourself thinking something like, I know the vast majority of things about the Person of God, know that you can add to your self-understanding, the capacity to be self-deceived. There exists a world, no an ending universe of truth about the nature and Person of God. See what you can find. In so doing you will likely find your relationship with Him energized by having a deeper connection to Him, greater trust and faith in His unfailing goodness toward you, an unbreakable emotional bond and a calm and peace that passes understanding.

Christian Counseling: Why Teens and Twenties Are Leaving Church

You may recall the legend of "The Wandering Jew" who made insulting comments to Jesus while carrying His cross and who was subsequently cursed to wander the earth until the second coming. Today, there are many, many wandering Christians who have left the traditional, organized church in search of an alternative church. Each year one million born-again Christians become wanderers, according to Barna research.

David Kinnaman, president of the Barna Group headed a five-year study to determine why those 15 years of age to early twenties were leaving church permanently or for an extended period of time. His findings are reported in his book, "You Lost Me: Why Young Christians are Leaving Church and Rethinking Church."

Three of five teens and young adults leave the church for a variety of reasons. Kinnaman's research suggested six reasons for their long temporary or permanent departure.

1. Christians are overprotective - "demonize everything outside of the church" and over concerned about the harm caused by movies, music and video games.

2. The Christian experience is shallow - church is boring, faith not relevant to living, and God is missing from church.

3. Churches are antagonistic to science - they perceive Christians as out of step with science or anti-science.

4. The churches teachings on sexuality is simplistic and judgmental - no practical advice on how to live up to expectations of chastity or purity, especially since marriage is often delayed to the later twenties.

5. Christianity is too exclusive - they are close-minded, intolerant and unaccepting of those who are different than themselves, which puts a wedge between them and other races, religions and sources of authority, etc.

6. Church is unfriendly to those who have doubts - it is not okay to express doubts or ask challenging questions. They don't feel safe addressing their most pressing issues regarding their faith.

I wonder if you have experienced any of those concerns yourself? Any suggestions for resolution?    

Christian Counseling: One View Of A Man's Heart

The poet, Don Blanding, wrote these revealing words of a man's struggle with two selves at war with each other. This man in the poem is led by his flesh and not the Spirit, yet it helps us understand what many men battle within themselves and yields insights about how to talk to them about the alternative of Christ who can help calm the two spirits. 




How very simple life would be
If only there were two of me
A Restless Me to drift and roam
A Quiet Me to stay at home.
A Searching One to find his fill
Of varied skies and new found thrill
While sane and homely things are done
By the domestic Other One.

And that's just where the trouble lies;
There is a Restless Me that cries
For chancy risks and changing scene,
For arctic blue and tropic green,
For deserts with their mystic spell,
For lusty fun and raising Hell,

But shackled to that Restless Me
My Other Self rebelliously
Resists the frantic urge to move.
It seeks the old familiar groove
That habits make. It finds content
With hearth and home — dear prisonment,
With candlelight and well-loved books
And treasured loot in dusty nooks,

With puttering and garden things
And dreaming while a cricket sings
And all the while the Restless One
Insists on more exciting fun,
It wants to go with every tide,
No matter where…just for the ride.
Like yowling cats the two selves brawl
Until I have no peace at all.

One eye turns to the forward track,
The other eye looks sadly back.
I'm getting wall-eyed from the strain,
(It's tough to have an idle brain)
But One says "Stay" and One says "Go"
And One says "Yes," and One says "No,"
And One Self wants a home and wife
And One Self craves the drifter's life.

The Restless Fellow always wins
I wish my folks had made me twins.




Some questions to ponder:


What do you think and feel after reading the poem?


Do some women feel similarly? If so, how is it different than men?


What is it that men really desire underneath the obvious (inner peace and enjoyment of life)?  Below the surface of restlessness could be such things as the desire or need for adventure, exploration, knowledge, security or connection with God.


In what ways do you struggle with two or more selves opposed to each other? This is something with which we all have difficulty and it is often spoke of as a war between flesh and spirit, yet there is more. Psychologically we all have a few divisions of personality, such as the outgoing me and the reserved me, or the happy, carefree one and the more melancholy one, the ideal and the real, etc.  

Christian Counseling: Don't Worry, Be Happy

In 1988, Bobby McFerrin released this catchy song, having a simple, clear and encouraging message--"Don't Worry, Be Happy." It ends with, "Don't worry, it will soon pass whatever it is. Don't worry, be happy. I'm not worried." All of us wish for a guarantee that no matter what bad things come our way they would pass and always leave the door of happiness wide open and us with a smiley face. In some Christian circles, there are those that posit those kinds of thoughts in a spirit of a guarantee. 


I am referring to unfounded, romantic-sounding statements like: we, as Christians, should always be happy because we are so blessed, or we should never be lonely because we know God and He lives within us, or we don't need to be angry, fearful, insecure, anxious, etc. because Jesus gives us His peace and God is in control, and, lastly, God is in control, so anything that happens is His will. (I'll support my criticism in a moment.)


The truth is we Christians have very much to be happy about (the comforting presence of God, guidance of the Holy Spirit, a hope of a sure future in heaven, forgiveness, grace, the Bible, mercy, and the list could go on and on). But it is another matter to suggest or imply we should only be happy and avoid life's problems and troubles by conjuring up simplistic nonsense that ultimately leads to injury and unresolvable conflict. I write these things because any untruth wounds, leads people astray and opens one up to the possibility of a spiritual crisis of faith, i.e., through disappointment. False beliefs, even ones that make us temporarily feel better, are like quicksand in that they steal the life from us and have the ability to do the same to others who are in earshot of those tempting proclamations. 


Consider the numerous distortions of biblical truth that must precede the belief in those unfounded, romantic-sounding statements: 
1.  All of creation groans (Romans 8:22,23).
2.  The promises and blessings of God do make life easier and happier, but they are not meant to be the absolute antidote to troubled feelings and painful trials.
3.  If we should never be lonely because we have a relationship with God, why did God say to Adam it was not good for him to be alone (Genesis 2:18)? Adam walked with God! The truth is this world is not our home, we are strangers and sojourners on this earth (1 Peter 2:11). Heaven is our only home. Therefore, loneliness is a part of life for all of us.
4. Some like to think Jesus was always cool, calm and collected; that nothing ruffled his feathers. Those people also think if we have God in our lives that nothing should really bother us and if it does, it is only an issue of too little faith or immaturity. Do they forget Jesus was a suffering servant who stormed the temple with a whip, asked how long He had to put up with the disciples, was deeply troubled by the spiritually destructive Pharisees and anxious in the Garden before His arrest (hematidrosis- sweating blood due to severe mental stress)? How about Paul who revealed his fears? Do they forget the Holy Spirit grieves (in the Greek, has pain)? Having perfect peace and love does not mean we don't suffer, sometimes significantly, from anger, fear and other inner turmoil. 
5. If God is in control of everything and nothing happens outside His will, why does Ephesians 4:30 say, "Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God"? According to the belief, we must see this verse as supporting a troubling thought, that God grieves Himself. Also, we know God is not the author of sin. Sin is never what He wants in this world. It only happens contrary to His will. He is sovereign, but not in control of everything, such as our freewill.


The thought, "Don't worry, be happy," can encourage us to look at the positives in life, especially during difficult times, but as an absolute, it only works in the world where the heavens and earth are restored and God does away with pain (Revelation 22:1-4). The latter is a truth you can depend on. It gives me a smiley face.