Christian Counseling - The Chemistry of Addiction

We are created in such a way that anyone can become psychologically and/or physically addicted. Some theorize the existence of an addictive personality (predisposition to becoming addicted). Though this has not been confirmed by research, there are traits that are associated with this personality, such as impulsivity, neuroticism and difficulty managing high stress.

Current belief holds the brain is key in the addiction process. All addictive substances (and some pleasurable activities) cause the release of dopamine (the feel good neurotransmitter) in the brain. Dopamine interacts with other neurotransmitters that link "pleasure with desire and action (seeking the substance)." Another part of the brain stores the information. When these memories are triggered by sight (a bar), smell (smoke), etc., the person experiences a craving and is driven to repeat the behavior that rewards with strong feelings of pleasure.1

Because cravings are so powerful and the brain is so easily programmed recovery is a lifelong process. Part of the treatment surrounds finding new sources of pleasure and unhooking from cues that awaken pleasurable memories. Self-help groups, such as AA (Alcoholics Anonymous), OA (Overeaters Anonymous) and NA (Narcotics Anonymous) are often, at least, part of the recovery process. Individual therapy further aids in understanding the path each person has uniquely followed into addiction and developing a path out.

Philippians 4:6 says, "Be anxious for nothing..."  A more accurate rendering is, "Do not give yourself to over thinking or over caring anything." Doing so is a thought or a care gone too far, which can lead to addiction. In the beginning, before an addiction is formed, we are to short-circuit the process by turning our hearts and minds toward something or someone else. Scripture advocates turning to God and discovering His peace.


1  Miller, Michael Craig, M.D., 2010. Harvard mental Health Letter. Why Addiction Causes Craving (August 2010): Vol. 27, No. 2, p. 7

Christian Counseling - Waiting for God to Act

When we become overwhelmed by strong emotions, such as fear, we often wait until God removes it before we take action, or perhaps we wait completely on God to take care of the matter. The latter was the case when the Israelites were being chased by Pharaoh's army. The people cried out to Moses who, in turn, cried out to God to act on behalf of the people (Exodus 14). Do you remember how God responded? If you said He parted the Red Sea, you are right, but there is something more.

We are all familiar with the advice "Give it to God" when we are in a situation that is beyond us, which we all experience from time to time. When there is no more rope, people hold on until God rescues them.Yet, I find that some who follow this advice do so to avoid responsibility. In either case, should God remain silent and not act on their behalf they often become hurt and/or angry with Him. There are a few ways of understanding His silence, but I want to focus on the "something more" that may have been missed when He doesn't act.

God's response to Moses' request for help was that the people must first move toward the water (conflict)and Moses was to "stretch out his hand over the sea and divide it" (Exodus 14:15,16). We find a similar message when the Israelites crossed the Jordan into the promised land--the people first followed the priests carrying the Ark of the Covenant toward the water and then the priests had to step into the water (Joshua 3:14-17). Only after the people took action did God part the waters for their safe passage.

The actions of God most often follow an initial step of His people's faith.You may be waiting for God, but He may be waiting for you. How can you show your faith while in a difficult situation, especially one for which you have been waiting a long time?

Christian Counseling - In the Grip of Panic

Most all of us have experienced being overwhelmed by fear that dips into the realm of feeling panicky. This is referred to as a panic attack. Most of the time we know what brought on the attack, such as a specific troubling thought or threatening event. When these attacks randomly reoccur (without a reason or actual danger) along with the fear of having more of them for more than 30 days then a diagnosis of panic disorder needs to be considered. Between 30-50% of those with the diagnosis also present with agoraphobia (anxiety about and avoidance of being in places or situations from which a person may not be able to escape should they have a panic attack). A few symptoms of the disorder include: fear of dying, losing control or going crazy, feeling dizzy, nauseous or having chest pain, sweating, shaking and shortness of breath.

The good news is there are effective treatments for this disorder. Because the acute phase of the disorder (the beginning 2-4 months) most often leads to a chronic problem, it is important to get help as soon as possible. There are numerous research studies which strongly suggest a two-pronged approach be taken. First, begin see the help of a psychiatrist who will likely write a script for two medications--an anti-anxiety (fast acting) and an anti-depressant (SSRI - takes 4 to 6 weeks to reach therapeutic levels). Second, and simultaneously, enter counseling. The combination of these two approaches has the best record of success. Counseling alone can provide substantial relief, but medication helps to quickly get control of the symtoms with the hope of preventing the disorder from becoming chronic.

Effective counseling centers around correcting cognitive distortions ("I can't be assertive because I might hurt someone"), relaxation training (for muscles and controlling breathing), stress management (facing problems and not allowing them to build up) and unhooking from triggers that bring on attacks, such as any change in breathing. My experience tells me that many with panic disorder are consciously or unconsciouslly avoiding one or more particularly strong feelings that need to be understood and resolved through insight-oriented therapy.  Most people can eliminate their panic or, at least, learn to reduce the intensity of panicky feelings.

Christian Counseling - Confusion About Spiritual Gifts

It is understandable that teens and people in their 20's are trying to figure out what spiritual gifts the Holy Spirit has given them. But it may be surprising to know that many people in their 50's, 60's and 70's continue to look for answers about the gifts, and even His will. Does God make them hard for us to find? Are we so dense we don't get it?  How do we understand people's confusion and doubts about their gifts?

It is unlikely that God hides His gifts from people, since He freely gives us all things and wants to build up the church. If we were incapable of perceiving the gifts in us, why would God bother to administer them to us? Most people I know have attended classes, read books and taken tests to learn about and identify their spiritual gifts, but most seem to remain in a quandary. Perhaps this is one reason why 10% of the people in the church do 100% of the work.

It appears the problem is not God, not education and not a lack of human capacity. Therefore, the only thing left to scrutinize is one's attitude and behavior--limited faith, laziness, fear, insecurity, etc. I have no doubt these things can interfere in the recognition and use of spiritual gifts, but, they are not the central issue. I believe the problem is that Christians assume the theology or beliefs underlying today's training, teaching or education about spiritual gifts is accurate. After all, if so many godly people believe and are presenting it the same way, how could they all (or most) be wrong?

Generally, the contemporary approach teaches there is one set of gifts as described in the Bible, primarily in 1 Corinthians 12, Romans 12, Ephesians 4 and 1 Peter 4, and a scattering in other verses. Many assume there are no other gifts beyond them. But is that limiting God? No where does the Bible say, "Th, th, th, That's all folks!" (Porky Pig, if you don't watch cartoons, and no I am not relating God to a pig, get real). What about the gift of craftsmanship seen in the Old Testament or kindness, compassion, peace, unifying people or photographic memory, etc.? I believe there is no end to the list of possible spiritual gifts. However, if one believes there are no other gifts beyond those mentioned in a few passages, and one doesn't desire or can't see any of them in his or her life, then confusion and doubt will be a likely visitor.

A second teaching is that we are to find the treasure of gifts the Holy Spirit has unilaterally decided to give to us, accept them and use them. Though it is clear the Holy Spirit is the giver of gifts, the gifts themselves and their use is interactive between the Spirit and each person. It is not simply a matter of discovering your gifts, it is about collaboration and working it out with the Spirit and God. Consider Romans 12, which tells us our use of gifts is limited by our character--prophecy according to one's faith, giving to be done with liberality, leading with diligence and mercy with cheerfulness (the less we have of these qualities the less the gift will be exercised and be of benefit to others). Consider also these enlightening words from 1 Corinthians 12:31, "But earnestly desire the greater gifts." Do these words surprise you? The clear idea here is that we are to pursue spiritual gifts according to our desire and, by implication, we will, to some degree, achieve success in our pursuit of them. If we couldn't, why would God tell us to do so? The giving of gifts is not just a random act, its an interactive process. Would the Spirit give the gift of teaching or preaching to a person who is introverted, socially inhibited and has a life-long public speaking phobia? No doubt He could, but what's the likelihood?

What gifts or talents do you believe you have? What primes your pump or ignites your fuel? In the giving and use of spiritual gifts, what you desire, are motivated by and level of character development matter. I believe the Spirit takes these things in consideration when dispensing gifts. For example, if a person had no passion for a specific gift, would the Spirit give that gift to that person? A gift without passion would seriously affect the edification of others. Again, God could use anyone for most anything, but is that His regular course of action? No, there also needs to be a harmony between the person and the gift.

In the end, the Spirit has the final say. Yet, we are to seek greater gifts and develop them. During that time, be sure to listen for confirmation of your gifts from others. If it isn't there, look to other gifts. We all know each of us has at least one.

Christian Counseling - Longevity and Friendship

http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,2006938,00.html?xid=rss-health&utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+time%2Fscienceandhealth+%28TIME%3A+Top+Science+and+Health+Stories%29&utm_content=Google+Reader

Having good friends appears to boost longevity according to a major study outlined in Time Magazine (the link to the article appears above). In fact, the difference in life expectancy among those with a healthy social life compared with those who do not mirrors the difference between non-smokers and smokers. In the article, they discuss several aspects of friendship that may be linked to life expectancy. They are:

1. Friends provide tangible support when we are ill (helping with bills, meals, etc.).

2. When in the presence of friends, people respond in a healthier way to stressful situations.

3. The immune system of people with friends appears to be stronger.

The studies used in the analysis were conducted prior to the explosion of social networking sites. Therefore, there is a question as to whether we would see the same impact with"Facebook" relationships. However, the nature of friendship described in the studies may not be able to be replicated in a "virtual" friendship. The qualities of the friendships in the study include: face to face encounters, intense intimacy, and far reaching social networks. While it could be argued that some of these aspects of friendship can be replicated online, it is also possible that people may retreat from social situations as their online friendships increase. In addition, online friendship includes a certain amount of anonymity which is attractive to some. When you are online, you can alter aspects of your personality. However, this alteration, especially if not genuine, can limit the intimacy of friendship.

Finally, remember, the study outlined in Time is looking only at physical benefits of friendship. There are many emotional and spiritual benefits of friendship that were not discussed because they were beyond the scope of the article.