Christian Counseling - Who Gets The Best Of Your Love?

In my opinion, the best rendition of the song "Best Of My Love" was released in 1974 by the Eagles. The melody is as sad and captivating as are the lyrics--"Here in my heart, I give you the best of my love...But we both see it slippin' away." This is the paragon that highlights what most people believe love is...a feeling. But, it is a feeling that rises up and can evaporate like the morning dew, despite one's best attempt to love well.

Fairy tales from romantic novels and movies promote the idea that the only human love that exists is the feeling one. It is the one that supposedly keeps people together forever because the feelings are so powerful and special. There is not one doubt in me that it is awesome and even extremely helpful in bonding and attachment. But it is only a "part" of love, and it fades over times. At some point, most ask, "Is that all there is? Isn't there something more?" It happens for a thousand reasons, one of which is the love hormone (oxytocin) stops being produced after about 17 months. People then discover that love, like any other feeling, is fickled. It feverishly flies, fearfully flounders and faithfully falls. While romantic love gets seriously challenged, the bonding action of it helps hold people together. But that is most often not enough. The Greek word used in the Bible used for this type of love is "phileo," which refers to feelings of affection.

We are fortunate that God tells us there is another love that is higher than phileo, and He has demonstrated that love toward His Son, Jesus, and to all humanity in sending Him to earth. We need to grasp and religiously practice what the Bible refers to as "agape" love. This is the love that goes on further than the Energizer Bunny, for it does last forever. It won't run out of energy because it is not about feelings. It is about an irretractable, binding commitment or covenant that is based on a decision of the mind and an exercise of the will; it's a head thing, not a heart thing. Thus, agape love is beyond the influence and control of everything and everyone outside of the person who loves and even the object of love, regardless of his or her behavior.

If you, by virtue of practice, possess the greatest form of love, agape, and center it in all your relationships, then everyone fortunate enough to be a part of your world is getting the best of your love.