Christian Counseling - Protecting Your Marital Vineyard

Solomon's Song of Songs is a personal, insightful, beautiful, poetic writing of passionate love and its great mystery. In his writing, the lovers' senses have left the earth and sky-rocketed to a heavenly realm. The emotional intensity vanquishes all pain (except when the couple are separated from one another) and its power suggests the existence of eternity.

Love transforms feelings and perceptions by creating rose-colored human sensors that see, hear, smell, taste and touch a world that is born-again. Lovers feel connected to the human race, gain understanding about the incredible love of God, and find meaning and purpose in living. Love makes sense of a chaotic and troubled world...for a little while, at least.

"Catch for us the foxes, the little foxes that ruin the vineyards that are in bloom" (Song of Songs 2:15). Would any couple in love want their glorious world to be disturbed by intentionally looking for relational problems, suggested by the presence of foxes? No, they wouldn't, and that's the point of Solomon's words--to caution lovers. Whenever emotions are high or low we are most vulnerable to increased conflicts, new problems and formidable temptations because objectivity is surrendered.

What God is suggesting is that a couple deeply and completely revel in the matchless experience of love, sexuality and friendship, along with keeping objectivity. That objectivity recognizes powerful feelings can blind a couple from seeing truth. A couple's objectivity evaluates the realities of the relationship and the impact of surrounding influences. It sees the good and bad in each other and the potential ups and downs in the relationship, now and, to some degree, in the future. It is protective, in that it pays close attention to anything that has the potential to threaten, limit or destroy the vineyard of loving feelings, thoughts and behaviors.

Giving thought to and permitting the wondrous world of love to be interrupted by temporarily and consistently coming down to earth from the clouds helps ensure a love that lasts for a lifetime. Take great pleasure in love and keep company with objectivity.

If, as a couple, you have let the foxes near ruin your marital vineyard, resurrect the memories of attraction, hope, commitment and joy of your emotionally intense love. Together, bear up under any initial awkwardness and read Song of Songs. Talk about what once was, what is and what could be.