Christian Counseling - The Inner World Where God, Faith, Peace and Healing are Held at Bay

My amazement never diminishes in the recognition of how every person I have ever gotten to know, and that includes me, sabotages themselves by limiting or keeping some of the beneficial things they want and need at a distance. Those things include healing, God, faith, peace, forgiveness, grace, and the list could go on. We are the  only species on this planet that has the universal capacity of preventing or destroying our own well-being. We typically and rightly understand that it happens because of the sin nature that exists in all of us. But there is more. I am referring to the "flesh that is sold into bondage to sin" (Romans 7:14); that is, a part of people beyond the sin nature--the unreasonable and false guilt-ridden, self-flagellating mind and heart or thinking and feeling parts of our human or psychological makeup. Our entire being is sorely affected by our sin nature.

Why does it seem people, including Christians, hold on to guilt, self-hate or self-anger, shame, fear, etc. that exacerbate their negative self-image and keep them suspended in lifelong conflict? Who in their right mind would avoid God, peace, love, or needed help? People! None of is in our right mind! Not only do we all say and do things we never believed we would, but self-forgiveness is a remedy many people do not deeply understand or easily give themselves. I believe there are several reasons we hold on to bad feelings and memories and block our own healing, but common among them are: they are familiar, we don't like change, we don't deserve it and in diminished hope we give up our fight to overcome them. Yet, the key reason is we are afraid to fully face our own inner pain and memories (many believe that doing so will result in feeling emotionally overwhelmed, which would lead to losing control, wrong behavior, bad attitudes, depression, rage, anxiety, ending a relationship, etc.).

When people cut themselves off from the truth about who they are they also shut the door on God, faith, peace and healing, even though they may simultaneously pray that God helps or heals them. Carrying those terrible, suppressed and repressed truths leads to a lifelong sentence of misery that will infect every relationship, including the one with God. Without this understanding, many Christians repeatedly ask: "Where is God's peace that passes understanding? Must I bear this burden for life? Is it God's will? Why won't He heal me?" Some will hate themselves for the problem, and, in part, they are assigning blame to the right person, even though it is unproductive and even destructive.

What God wants for all of us is stated in Psalm 51:6, "Behold, You desire truth in the innermost being, and in the hidden part You will make me know wisdom." God wants to act on our behalf, but we can also prevent Him from doing so. Not that He is powerless, but that His kind nature is such that He will not override the precious will He gave us. As the father in the story of the prodigal son, He respects our right to choose, even to our own detriment (Luke 15:11ff).